InsaneJournal

                                                           Just the Way You Are

Havoc was beginning to feel genuine concern for the temperature of hell. It was surely dropping by the second. He was certain whole snowballs could survive there soon. In addition, if he saw any porcine animals floating or otherwise traversing the skies he would not blink twice.

He had a date.

With Riza Hawkeye.

Jean was the luckiest and most terrified man in the world. On the one hand, he had the absolute chance of a lifetime. This was his ultimate opportunity. On the other hand, this was his one and only chance, and that made him very, very nervous.

Trying to ignore the anxiety spiking in his chest, he pushed the doorbell of her little townhouse, suppressing a smile at its businesslike tone.

He had fussed for hours before deciding he looked as good as he was going to get. Although every detail he could control was perfect, his natural flaws seemed to be even more obvious than usual. His choice of dress had also given him some grief. He wanted to look good, obviously, but not like he was trying to look good. It had to be casual, because after all this was only drinks between friends at this point, but he couldn’t look sloppy, because Riza hated that.

After a few moments she opened the door.

“Hey,” he said, probably a bit more on the lecherous side than the suave one, and tried to amend it with a more harmless smile.

“Good evening,” she replied, the smallest hint of amusement in her eyes. She turned halfway toward the door to lock it, and Havoc got the chance to check her out.

God, she looked good.

With that they were on their way. Havoc wanted a cigarette already, but he didn’t dare smoke one. He knew full well her thoughts on the subject. He had to send his car to the cleaners twice to get the smoke out of the upholstery.

They had a short discussion on where to go, and in the end they decided on The Blues, a pub just blocks from Headquarters that catered to military personnel.

Despite Jean practically throwing himself around the car, he didn’t get to Hawkeye’s door in time to open it for her, nor did he manage to thwart her efforts to open the door to the pub, so he followed resignedly in her wake.

They settled down and ordered their first drinks. The bartender gave him a knowing smirk and a little good-luck wink.

Okay. Showtime, Jean. Don’t screw up.

Turning halfway toward her and leaning one elbow casually on the bar, he struck up a conversation. Despite the fact that he was essentially scared shitless, he did just fine…really well, actually. He was acting sexy but not pervy, interested but not obsessed, confident and suave. He even pulled off one or two lines the colonel himself could have envied. Just as he was complimenting himself on doing the best job of a date in his life, Riza took advantage of the pause in the conversation to speak up.

“Thanks for coming out with me tonight,” she said.

“Of course,” he said with a little smile he was sure looked sexy.

She nodded, seeming pensive.

“I’m not quite sure how I should phrase this…” she began, and Havoc felt his stomach plummet. “I’m of course flattered that you want to…” She struggled for the right words. “Impress me, but it’s really not necessary.”

He nodded, feeling the familiar wave of humiliated rejection wash over him, though perhaps it’d never been quite this bad before.

“Yeah, I understand,” he said, keeping control of his features rather well, considering. “I apologize.”

“No, don’t misunderstand me,” Riza said quickly. “I only mean that I came here because I enjoy our conversations at work, and I’d like to have more of them.”

“Yes, me too. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” he said, trying desperately to salvage the evening and at least not make going to the office awkward as hell.

Hawkeye gave a sigh and set her glass down hard on the bar.

“Jean,” she said in exasperation, “What I’m trying to tell you is that I already like you, so turning on the charm now it a bit of a moot point, don’t you think?”

Havoc opened his mouth to say something, but could only stare.

“I have a lot of fun with you, but the little smooth-operator who’s here right now is a bit of a bore.” She gave him a teasing smile, and Havoc felt the floor abruptly abandon him.

“I…I didn’t know you…I had no idea….” He stumbled, trying to process the impossibly good news she’d just told him.

“Well,” she said, taking another drink, “Now you know. So take out that cigarette you’ve wanted all evening and let’s start over.” She glanced over, and for once he felt like Riza was looking across at him, from an equal footing, rather than down from heavenly heights.

Havoc grinned, leaning back in his chair and reaching into his shirt pocket for his lighter. Somehow he didn’t feel bad at all that his smooth words failed, and decided he’d leave that sort of thing to Mustang once and for all.

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard                             
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.