InsaneJournal

Roy really was a master at this sort of thing; Jean pondered that lazily as he half-listened to him speak. He had begun the topic so stealthily that Jean had realized unconsciously what was going on before he’d said anything of the kind. His eyes held sincerity and his expression was just this side of grave. He was stunningly handsome as always, lying there terribly comfortable in nothing but his own skin, though one end of the sheet was draped casually over his lap. As he veered closer to the true point, he even broke off once or twice, looking distressed, and picked up again after a momentary fruitless glance about the room. Yes, a true master. Havoc smiled at him, and this seemed to throw him off, his next sentence faltering.

“Jean…?”

“I’m listening.”

He seemed unsure for a moment, as though he might object, but continued.

“As much as I would like to pretend I can pull this off indefinitely I know I can’t, and I have to do something about it before I lose- ”

Havoc’s face winced into a frown for a moment, and his eyes left Roy’s face to find another perch. That was not so smooth. A surprising error considering how well he’d done so far.

“Before… I lose everything,” he amended apologetically. There was a silence, and then he gave a sigh.

“Please….”

Jean returned his attention to him, taking a drag on his cigarette.

Roy let out a sigh and his shoulders slumped, defeated.

“I just can’t…I can’t hurt him, Jean, I just…if you could see him….”

Havoc cocked his head, listening to his ragged confession the same way he had listened to his well-planned words.

“We never fight. Did you know that? I mean, of course we do, but never about anything that matters. Not like you I and do. He just…he just loves with everything he is, without fear and without considering the consequences. Sometimes I’m frightened by how much he loves me, and if he ever found out…it would hurt him so much. It would kill him.” Roy buried his face in his hands. “He trusts me. He trusts me in everything, but especially he trusts me not to hurt him.”

There was another small silence, but this time heavy with only thought. He raised his head, a small frown of impeding realization on his features.

“I want to let him make me a good man.”

Jean smiled again, softly this time. Roy was such a fool.

He raised his black eyes to him, and Havoc met them easily. They were waiting for something- some sort of answer or response.

“Well,” he said finally, stubbing out his cigarette. “This doesn’t exactly come as a surprise.”

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